


i'll keep this love locked inside my chest

by superheroine



Series: Unrelated Merlin Remixes [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Magic Revealed, Pre-Slash, Slash, missing!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 15:43:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3856132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superheroine/pseuds/superheroine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is missing, and Gaius presents Arthur with a chest Merlin had left him with instructions to deliver to Arthur if he doesn't come back.</p><p>Or,</p><p>The one where Merlin is missing and Arthur learns all of Merlin's secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this is me if I can't be](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1751387) by [ingberry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingberry/pseuds/ingberry). 



> Quick Remix for "this is me if i can't be" I wrote while dealing with writer's block.

Merlin had been missing for one week before Gaius solemnly presented Arthur with a wooden chest.

“I was told to give you this if he… if he was never able to come back.” Gaius took a deep breath. “I think, by now, it is reasonable to give you this.”

Arthur wanted to rage. He had thought Gaius, if no one else, would hold on to hope with him, not tell him to give up on Merlin’s return. “He’s not dead.”

“Of course sire.” Gaius didn’t want to believe it, but Merlin would have been back by now, if it was within his ability.

Arthur studied the chest. It was decently sized about the length of one arm, and surprisingly heavy. It was made of maple, with vines carved into the wood and the Pendragon  crest branded on the top of it. “Who made this?”

“Merlin did. He spent weeks on it.”

Arthur stared at it reverently and Gaius bowed and left him.

-

Arthur sat at the table in his chambers, the chest in front of him. When did Merlin find the time?  How did he learn to do this? Arthur sat up, took a deep breath, and opened the chest.

Inside was a book, a small wooden dragon, a small stick with a gem at one end, a red neckerchief, a gold coin and a sheaf of papers.

He picked up the papers first.

_Dear Arthur,_

_If you’re reading this, prat, then I am probably dead. I wish I hadn’t had to explain things this way, but now it seems my only option._

_I am magic._

_I do not have magic, I am magic. And I have been protecting your sorry arse since my first day in Camelot. I have told you before, but you never believed me. Why would you? I have no skills in battle. But in case you haven’t noticed, magical creatures like to try to kill you. I have nearly died for you, and now, I probably have, but I will never regret it. You are a good man, and you will be a great king._

_The book is a spell book that has helped me learn to control my magic. I leave it to you in hope that you will find that not all magic is evil. The twig is a staff. I shrank it so it would fit, and there is a spell in the front of the book that can bring it back to size._

_The dragon is from my father, and the coin is a symbol of our shared destiny. All of this takes a lot more explaining, so I will start at the beginning…_

Hours later, Arthur had finally finished the letter. The last few sentences were stuck in his thoughts, however he may wish otherwise.

_I understand if you hate me. I have had magic my entire life, and I have lied to you for years about it. If I am not dead already, I expect the pyre will be waiting for me. But I will always come back to you, as long as there is breath in my body._

_I don’t protect you because of destiny. I protect you because I love you._

_Merlin_

It hurt to know that Merlin had hidden this from him for so long, but he thought he understood Merlin’s fear. A lot of things made far more sense with Merlin’s revelations, about both his magic and his love. But Arthur would never have let Merlin be executed.  And if- _when_ Merlin came back, Arthur wasn’t going to make see what Arthur himself had seen as obvious: His love for his manservant.

Arthur tied the neckerchief around his arm, beneath his shirt, and pocketed the coin before leaving his chambers.

Until he had a body, he refused to mourn.


	2. Chapter 2

A week later, Lancelot burst into the prince’s chambers. “We found him. He’s with Gaius.” Arthur nodded in his direction and ran to the physician’s chambers.

Merlin was lying in his bed, pale and bruised. Gaius was checking his injuries. “When Lancelot found him in the forest outside of Camelot, he was unconscious. He has yet to wake,” Gaius said, not looking up from his patient. “Give me time to treat him and come back in the morning. If he wakes before then, I will send for you. You know as well as I what your father will do if he knows of your concern.”

Arthur nodded stiffly; Gaius was right. If Uther knew of his attachment to his manservant, he would have Merlin executed; he had said so after Arthur had gotten the Mortaeus flower. He looked again at Merlin and slowly walked out of the room.

-

Several hours later, just after eating with Morgana and his father, a servant knocked at his door.

“I have been sent to tell you that Merlin is awake, sire.” Arthur nodded, dismissed him, and quickly walked down to see him, doing his best not to attract attention.

As he entered the rooms, Merlin smiled weakly at him. “Hello clotpole.”

A smile tugged at Arthur’s mouth. “What creature have you defeated this time?”

Merlin winced. “Gaius gave you the chest then.”

“Yes. And Merlin, you will not burn. I will not allow my father to execute you. And Merlin?” he paused. “I love you too.”

Merlin grinned broadly. “In that case, I will answer any questions you still have.”

“Where were you for two weeks?”

The smile fell from his face. “Oh. That.” He took a deep breath. “I was taken captive by a few rogue sorcerers who bound me and tried to make me use my magic against you. They didn’t succeed.” He gestured at his body. “That’s why they did all this.”

Arthur stared. Now that he had been cleaned up and treated, his injuries didn’t seem as serious, but they were still terrible wounds.

“I have a few broken ribs, but everything else is just superficial. I used the last of my energy to escape, but the potions Gaius gave me have given me more strength.”

Arthur crossed the room to the bed and gently wrapped his arms around Merlin. “Next time you leave like that, let a man know, will you?

Merlin smiled into Arthur’s shoulder. “I’ll try.”


End file.
